Getting along with people was never difficult for me. People gravitate to my energy fairly easily & quickly. I like to keep my energy welcoming and light. Even when I'm quiet people tend to know I'm alright to be around. I'm simply not the type of person that gets lost in the background, People remember I was there and for some reason want me there again the next time.
You'd think dating would be a breeze for me, that meeting a genuine potential would be easy as pie (clearly whoever made that phrase up never made pie)... turns out dating is as difficult as making pie actually is.
I get turned off easily, I get attached easily, I overthink, I'm emotionally awkward, I have commitment issues, ::whispers:: I'm a bit tainted (thank you all fuckboys from 2012-2016) ....
I'm 29.5 years old and I'm not sure how this is really suppose to work... (or at least I'm not like 75% of society that swears they somehow have it all figured out)...
No two experiences are the same, but patterns within yourself do in fact exist. Even so, what didn't work for one person might work for another. It's not always a matter of what you're doing wrong, but simply about a connection not being there. If it didn't work out with one person, it's because it wasn't suppose to work out with that person (I might get this tattooed on me, because when it comes to that I'm the most stubborn creature on earth...because OBVI, if I want something to work out, it has to... because I said so...)
Any who, that's neither here nor there...
The truth is... I'm no good at this at all, this whole dating thing. This whole trying to figure out a complete stranger while learning about yourself in the process. This not knowing a person enough to decipher what they might really mean. This beginning awkward stages where you question everything & anything...while trying to put your best foot forward, while still trying to figure out how slowly or quickly to chip down your wall.
Accepting the "oh shit" moment, that you realize you're actually attempting to let someone else in... and you remember what happened last time you did that................Look how well that turned out.... ::insert psychotic smile::
I'm an overthinker by nature, the concept of going with the flow is me paddling like a mad woman either with the current or against it. No in between...
so this is me again... trying to shut myself up... and learning to let go...
because, babygirl.....you have to...
xoxo
signs the girl trying to date quietly.
Relationships are so difficult! Dr. Seuss said it best: "you'll get mixed up of course, as you already know. You'll get mixed up with manu strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left".
ReplyDeleteAka: know that some people are meant to come and go, be careful how you handle yourself in these entrances and exits because life is all about balance, and dont lose yourself in the process... I think
Xoxo