Too Invested...

Please note that whenever I write "as some of you may or may not know"... What I'm really saying is "allow me to reintroduce myself" ::jayz voice::... 

So... as some of you may or my not know I'm an emotional creature. I get overly involved and once I decide to give my energy to something it's full blown straight from the core of me, energy. That type of shit you feel from miles away. The type of shit that takes a little part of me each & every time. Which may explain why when things go awry, I don't fully know what to do with myself. Not right away at least. I'm basically left unaware of what to do with all the energy lost & all the energy I felt I had left to give.

This happens in many areas of my life- be it work, school, hobbies, love, friends... It's like once I make the conscience decision to give myself, I give sooo much. This might sound like it's not a real issue, but it's one of the biggest issues I'll ever have in life. The truth is, most things in life definitely shouldn't have that much of you. Some things in life don't deserve to take parts of you and give nothing in return. It's like investing in stock you know you're going to lose money in & still putting in 75% of your savings... It makes no sense...

BUT...

I continue to do it. I continuously pinpoint places, people, things and decide that I want to invest parts of my soul in it...

& months shy to 30, this soul giving girl...is TIRED...... TIE-Errrd....  It's like I've officially depleted my energy. Like I've officially reached that point where I'm like...nahh Fuck ya...all of ya...every single one of ya... I don't want to hear about your goals, I don't want to know your work problems, I don't want to answer your drunk phone calls, I don't want to hear how your weekend went, I don't want to be your personal comedian, I don't want to pick you up when you're down, I don't want to entertain you when you're down., I don't want to go to every happy hour with you, I don't want to be this hyper active ball of energy, I don't want to hear about your diet plan, I don't want to shop with you, I don't want to GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE....

wuu saa... Excuse the rant.. simply how I'm feeling today. Tomorrow might be a different story. Just know if you're reading this, I mean YOU too..

xoxo
signs the girl sick & tired of being sick & tired...