Balancing Energy...

I use to argue with my mom about this...

About her unavoidable ability to let everyone into her heart with open arms.
Her ability to embrace everyone and make them feel right at home within her presence.
Her unique way of making anyone and everyone feel like they belonged and held a special place within her heart...

Because they did...
They all some how did. 

Use to argue with her because it took a toll on her, every ones pain became hers, every ones struggle was now hers...
it's impossible for one heart to take that all in.

As humans we are barely able to withstand our own burdens, much less the ability to carry every ones cross on our back... 

then, I realized I became her.

sharing my heart & energy to it's fullest capacity, giving the most of me in all directions. Even in places it was clear I shouldn't. Even in instances where it would take a toll on me, even in instances where I knew I would end up losing...

I take everyone in...

Once you have merely caressed the surface of my heart, the warmth of it will engulf you. 

It's a force greater than me, my inability to fully turn my back on anyone. My want & desire to close people out, to take several step backs and care from a distance.

I've been working on it. But my energy is so immense that dimming the light for my own sake is immediately noticed. That lowering the window feels like I'm shutting the door...
But I'm not..

I'm simply learning to protect my energy. I'm learning that while our hearts do not have a capacity limit, our energy does. If we're busy giving everyone the best of us, we have little to offer ourselves. We cheat ourselves of our greatness. When you're busy letting everyone in, you take little notice of what you're losing in the process. You feel your heart is full, when essentially...it isn't.

They don't even notice how comfortable they get within you, they just know they somehow always want to stay...

I use to argue with her...
But I get it now, it's an uncontrollable desire to emotionally embrace even the seemingly undeserving...

xoxo
Signs the girl balancing her energy