Raw

I think one of my favorite things about meeting new people, is how much we learn about ourselves in the process. That is, of course if you're self reflective enough.

I enjoy self discovery. If nothing else is certain... It's sure as heck sure that you're stuck with yourself until in the very end... So why not know yourself... So I do a ton of self evaluation in my day to day. Not always productively. But enough that I'm continuously learning & using it when need be.

So, one of my recent interesting discoveries is a potential positive or negative thing about my personality. Depends on who you're asking or the interaction...

& that is... I'm too much of myself, always. I don't water myself down, and all parts of me can become overwhelming to some. I share 100% of my energy, I don't give myself in doses. I wear my heart on my sleeve & I'm raw. I give it all and if you can't handle my wholeness, then you can't.

I don't switch things up... I'm consistent in my ways, even if my ways aren't entirely perfect. You get this me from beginning to end. In all settings, and with all interactions, I choose to put my true face forward and hope for the best from there.

I wasn't always this way. I, like most people in society, would give small doses of myself until it seemed people were ready for all of me. Or some still never show their full selves unless around the right people.

some days... I wish I could retract and go back to that. Go  back to days where I had some reservations, at least initially. Back to the times where I was so concerned of my surroundings that I was conservative with what I let out.

& other days... I wouldn't change a thing... I'm a free spirit, a person that doesn't let pride determine the relationships I keep. I don't care to share my thoughts no matter who's on the listening end. I don't care of the opinions of others, even if this effects my relationships in the long run. My thought process is, if you don't like me in my full natural form... then you just don't like me at all.

So I have recently discovered that my heart & soul are exposed. That I'm not guarded, that I put it all out on the table and leave it up to you if you eat...

people like me get hurt often & easily...

but people like me are unchanged by the reality that most people aren't like this... that not everyone is giving you their full selves & that we are often unaware... unknowing... of what people are capable of... until it's too late.

xoxo
signs the girl that's raw in her form.