How are you single?

I get that question a lot, by strangers... by people who know me... yes, even by people who dated me & aren't with me (crazy I know)...

How are you single?

I no longer get asked Why, but how, almost like everyone else is validating that I should have been picked by now...

Some times from time to time, I ask myself the same thing... I have my moments in which I question myself. You see, I have made it a habit to realize you should always look within when there's an issue. You should always first see if the problem is really.just.YOU...

::pick me pick me:: 

I can sit here & lie, say that me being single has been a choice. It hasn't! Me being single has everything to do with various failed attempts at trying something with people that trying something shouldn't have even been an option. It's complicated out there... it's not a matter of who you are, how you look or what you bring to the table...

it's a matter of luck.

Pure fate...

right place right time & hey this worked.

Most people don't like hearing that... they use their marital & relationship status as a badge of honor (yes you should be commended because those shits are TOUGH to maintain, so kudos to you) so they assume it's some secret formula or something they did "Right" that got them there... when that thing was simply the universe.... & patience...hella patience...

I even have moments where I disregard everything else I've done right & think damn "how am I single, I'm dope"... Then I realize my stability... my worth...my value was being determined by my ability to keep a relationship. As if everything else I've accomplished means nothing & the other relationships I maintain well, gives me no creditably.  As if something MUST be wrong because that part of my life just isn't working the way the world expects it to...

How am I single... I'll tell you... by dating in 2017...2016...2015...2014...2013 & being super good at everything else I do except tolerating another human intimately for too long.... By meeting the wrong people at the wrong time... by not finding anyone to match my dope yet...

xoxo
Signs the girl that knows exactly how & why...