Recovering Addict...

...No, I'm not about to confess a drug addiction...

The addiction I'm referring to is my addiction to overthinking.

You see, I have this debilitating ability to overthink just about every situation. The situation could be as simple as someone telling me my hair looks ugly. Regardless the magnitude of the situation, I catch myself thinking about it longer than I should, ALWAYS.

Analyzing & delving into all the elements of the situation, enough that sometimes I think I should have been a researcher or philosopher. Replaying the situation in my head in case I missed any major details. The issue is not entirely the overthinking part, but mainly the drawing the wrong conclusions, 85% of the time (good thing I'm not actually a researcher of philosopher). Usually when I share my insights with the other parties involved, I'm often told I made up a story in my head (which makes me think, I'm possibly crazy...lol..no..seriously).

I only knew this was an actual "issue", when I realized how I use my same antics at work. (yeah, tell me about it). Where I draw conclusions based on my own emotions towards a certain situation. The way I analyze how situations play out, are often pretty out of wack. I'm not sure if it's because I have predetermined opinions about things before they even occur. Ok, so maybe I do know... I ALWAYS have predetermined opinions about things before they play out. Not the exact situation, BUT the people involved in the situation. If I've already made up my mind about how you are, and what your intentions are, every situation there after is already played out a certain way in my head...
Get it? Did I lose you there? ... Well welcome to my life...

Soo why I say I'm a recovering addict? It's not because I'm actually recovered, It's because I'm making huge efforts to STOP while I'm ahead with the conclusions I draw. I don't always stop myself from thinking, but I have started to tell myself to STFU!... To pump the breaks and realize that some things don't require my energy to analyze. That some things are what they are and I might never figure it out. That I don't have the answers & I don't always have to.

I think sometimes I focus on little things to ignore big things. But I'm learning to self reflect instead of analyze everyone & everything.

I'm recovering only because I've become aware, not because I've changed.

xoxo
-signs the girl ALWAYS working on herself...