Fairy Tale...

Sometimes we (or maybe just me, who knows) forget that behind every fairy-tale are hurdles, struggles, blood (maybe, not this one so much), sweat & tears. That simple, doesn't exist. Some stories worst than others, neither, one in the same. That the only way to truly know the ins & outs of a relationship, you have to be IN IT. That no matter how much you think you know, you have no idea. Sometimes the ones that seem to be the happiest, aren't...and vice versa.

I've noticed in my own interactions that one of my biggest issues is getting past the not so pretty parts. It's acknowledging that nothing & no one is perfect, despite what the pictures might show. That happy doesn't always come in the box you thought it would. It's remembering that not all timelines are the same & the only expectations I should have should match the things I'm offering. It's accepting that we all have a past that molds us into the person we are today and it's a constant battle of either putting it behind us or developing from it.

We get so consumed in the artificial aspects of what we want based on what we see that we almost completely forget what we need. In my observation throughout the last few years, I've noticed how I continuously have a false sense of what I need, based on all the things I've been taught or seen that I should expect. I also notice that I expect the world too fast, when I often have my walls as high as the great wall of China. Except that now, just like that wall, mine is old and battered and slowly crumbling...giving me specs of new light (please note I'm quite sure the Great Wall of China is not crumbling anytime soon lmao). New light & insight into myself and the things I wish to offer and mostly the things I wish to change about myself. Which in turn gives me a clearer picture of what I really need from a partner.

I read a quote today that sparked great thoughts & was a mini "A-Ha" moment...

"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get-only with what you are expecting to give- which is everything"... 

Which reassured me that if nothing else I finally realized that the only person I can change is myself and I'm working on me, to give only the best of me and then see what comes from it, when I do in fact decide to give...everything. Whille again remembering not everyone gives everything right away, in fact most don't, including me.

I'm learning that fairy-tales are not stories, but feelings... It's the ability to acknowledge all the worst parts of yourself yet make an intent to work on it. It's being able to see past the difficulties and indulge in the goodness of it... it's deciding over & over again that you choose this bond over everything...

at least that's what I hope...

xoxo
signs the girl all in her feelings...clearly.