From time to time, I consume myself with a variety of thoughts.
Thoughts that come at me like traffic during rush hour.
I'm not too good at silencing them, it's as if the more I try, the louder they get.
I'm an over thinker by nature, so when you give me something to think about it's like a volcanic eruption in my brain. In which all my suppressed old thoughts come rushing out, along with every single new one.
& that's where I drown.
That's were I become mentally imbalanced...
That's where I'm a chaotic mess inside.
That's where I become completely off center.
& I just want them to go away.
Suppressing yet another set of memories. Putting away another photo album in my brain.
I go through sessions of "eternal sunshine of a spotless mind"...
where I selectively eliminate memory triggers, where I weed out all the things that will make me remember.
But in order to selectively forget, you have to remember.
Remember every single memory....
Remember every single detail.
Purposely make your stomach turn with the good & the bad.
Having moments where you wonder if you'll be able to forget.
but like all things...
eventually...
you do.
Those memories stop having substance
they become distant
they become faded.
thoughts, that like bubbles,
dissipate into tiny particles
...that have no effect on you...
xoxo,
signs a soon to be spotless mind.
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