Drowning in shallow waters

I realized a few days ago, that I really yearn for something.

I couldn't put my finger on what exactly, but I think I figured it out. 

I yearn to feel...

I yearn for a feeling so deep I can possibly drown in it.

I've been swimming in shallow waters for some time now, mostly because I had to catch my breath. 

Had to compose my thoughts and figure myself out.

Took a while.

But here I am now. Realizing my desire to feel. 

not to say I've been numb all this time...

...

but close enough

if you know me, you're well aware the magnitude of my heart. 

I pretty much can fit nations in my soul. 

But as of late, it's been feeling a bit... 

empty...

Craving the sensations of being all in my feelings. 

Like I've been so timid to drown in them, that now I want to dive head first from the tallest mountain into a bottomless ocean of emotions.

So much so

that I try to dive in the shallowest waters, 

well aware that it's a 3 feet pool...

then wonder how I hit my head.

Now that I'm aware what I'm craving,
I will stop drowning in shallow waters and seek the deepest ocean...

close my eyes...

& jump

xoxo

-signs the girl that realizes what she wants...