What is this?

I'm always quite in tune with my feelings. Always very self aware of the sentiments of my heart. I'm usually not aware of much else.

But...

For the first time... (ever possibly), I have no idea what the intentions of my heart & head are at the moment. 

I keep thinking & feeling one thing, & doing the polar opposite. My head & heart have never agreed in quite anything, and the one time they seemingly do. I don't follow their guidance. 

& I don't quite understand why. 

I'm in a funny place.

Where I just want to run with it, see where it takes me...

VS 

stop that shit right now baby girl....

I've been in that place, plenty of times, but only when I knew exactly what my heart desired. Never otherwise. 

this... 

this is the otherwise. 

What's keeping me here? 

It's an unsettling feeling...To not be in tune with the only part of myself I've always been connected fully to. I'm a follow your heart kind of gal, so why is my heart being so silent, & my actions 

soo...

loud.

Why am I still trying to see where this takes me, when I've already been made fully aware where this is leading..

unless I don't know...

even that sounds silly to me, made myself laugh with the thought, because I do know...

SO,WHAT IS THIS?

Guess I'll find out...

XOXO

-Signs the girl that isn't sure, but mehh...