It could be so simple...

But then, I wouldn't want it... 

Here I go again, being reflective on myself. In the end of the day, you have to deal with yourself more than anyone else, so why not get to know yourself more & more each day. It does in fact require effort, Self discovery does not fall on your lap. 

so where were we...oh yes... 

"It could be so simple...but then I wouldn't want it..." 

Everyone loves a challenge it's true. (Not sure about EVERYONE, but it's quite common). I think I over did it though. Simple just doesn't do it for me. Easy, equals mediocre in so many levels. Yes, the reality is, in the long run nothing is ever truly simple or easy. Everything has it's levels of complexities and challenges. 

BUT

Some people like climbing hills, and I seem to prefer Mount Everest. I blame my mom (obviously), she told me, I could do whatever I want in life and that everything I want I could get, if I work for it...

She absolutely DIDN'T mean in the love department, but I ABSOLUTELY decided that I can in fact apply the concept in ALL things. 

It's not that I prefer complicated, it's that I prefer to work towards that feel good level. Don't give it to me instantly, because I have proven to not know what to do with it when it's handed to me without any effort on my end. I don't know what it's like to just...get it. Therefore the bigger the challenge the more intrigued I become, the more work I put in.

DISCLAIMER: This is not to be confused with liking "bad boys" or "assholes" or "fuckboys" or "jerks"... That's not necessarily the challenges I'm referring to. I'm not fully into being mistreated.

BUT...

The reality is... it's DUMB... and tiring on so many levels. 
Things don't work out just because you want them to, or because you worked towards it. Furthermore, a lot of mountains, are not worth climbing, AT ALL. Sometimes you get to the top only to discover it was the challenge that you wanted more than the end result. (This has happen to me more often than I'm proud to admit)

I'm still working on taking a seat and reflecting on situations I put myself in. Trying to figure out if I like the challenge or do I actually want the end result. &&&& is this end result even feasible (clearly I still think I could get whatever I want, because HELLO, Mami said so.)

I'm not saying I'll change completely... It's in my nature to take up challenges, BUT I will in fact learn to distinguish what challenges are worth my time & effort, and which just aren't. 

Give me 1pm simplicity... You can keep your 4am complexities... 

(I lied when I said that..give me both...)

xoxo
signs the complicated girl that loves complicated...