So, What are we?

If you've been in a relationship for over 7 years , & you're under 30 yrs old, chances are you aren't fully aware of the infamous "talk".

The point, where clarification is needed on where you stand with a person, once you've dated/messed around/ are "talking", for a certain amount of time.

(please note the amount of time varies in every situation, some people feel it necessary immediately, others take their time in deciding when.) 

The often uncomfortable "so, what are we" talk.

See, the truth is, this conversation is only uncomfortable when two people aren't exactly on the same page. When it's required for one person to move faster or slower than they originally intended to. It's an issue only when one person wants more than the other person is offering. It's an issue when one person is taking the "relationship" (I call all interaction with another human, some form of relationship) here and the other person is taking it there. It's uncomfortable when intentions are blurry and need to be cleared with this very conversation...

Sometimes the stars are aligned and two people are on the same page, and this discussion isn't even necessary. Other times it's literally the defining moment in a relationship. It's the conversation which determines where you should take it from there. It's a conversation some people avoid as long as they could, it's a conversation that sometimes doesn't even need to be had, because time determined what exactly you are.

I've learned, from my personal experience, that this defining conversation is detrimental to bonds that are not solid, bonds, binded together by hesitation and  doubt. That's when the "what are we" becomes a clear sign of what you aren't.

I do not think things need to be black and white. I don't see much wrong with grey areas. I do think where you stand should be determined solely by what you want and not what someone else is deciding for you.

If, "what are we" ends up being "not in the same place"... maybe that's the moment you should go find a "we" that isn't so undefined. Once you have to interpret the complexities of a situation, chances are it's too complicated for you to still be dealing with it...

so know what you are...and what you're not.

xoxo
signs the girl that knows where she stands...(sometimes, or maybe not at all)