Whenever I have an...interesting night (to say the least)... Mixed with whirlwind of emotions, I tend to listen to "Chandelier - Sia".... Taking in every word...
You see, I myself try to believe "party girls, don't get hurt, can't feel anything"... The song perfectly describes what it is to numb feelings with a good time and 1 too many drinks. How we sometimes hide the many emotions we feel behind laughs and simply doing the most. Always to find out soon after that nothing can really numb your heart & eventually you have to face reality. Whatever that reality might be.
"Sun is up, I'm a mess | gotta get out now, gotta run from this | here comes the shame, here comes the shame..."
It's like the second you sober up, you're reminded that nothing has changed, & nothing was fixed. If you're anything like me, you probably feel worst, because you probably did a series of things you wish you could take back.... IE: drunk calls, texts, said a bunch of stuff you shouldn't have, etc etc.... The Suns up now, & as much as you blacked out the night before, it doesn't quite black out emotions.
I have many stories, plenty to fill many pages... None I wish to share at the moment. But I'm often the epitome of that girl... The one that smiles the brightest, but simply hides behind the smile. Mostly because I'm a believer of staying positive, of pushing through the best way you know how, with no complaints. I can be a lot of things, but I'm not a woes me person. I don't ask for hugs (because I'm not entirely a fan)....
But I admit, some days, I need one...
Xoxo
-signs the party girl
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