Can't have your cake & eat it too...

Growing up in the 90's I remember Nice & Smooth had a song called "Cake & Eat it too"... As a kid, I loved this song, but truly had no idea what it really meant. In my young mind, I was like, WHY NOT?? Only to realize in simple terms, once you eat a cake you no longer have cake, you HAD it...same should apply in all life circumstances, but the reality is far from it...

I saw this quote & couldn't agree more. It's as if we no longer want to make the decision of either... 

A) Eating the cake & enjoying it while we have it,

OR

B) Saving it for when we could appreciate it. 

We want to nibble at it's edges and still expect to have a whole cake to eat when we're ready. Or getting a whole other cake when we're not even done with the first serving. We're living in a generation of greedy people, is what it sounds like. A generation of people that aren't sure what they really want and have so many options that they dabble in all cakes and want to keep their favorites. 

I'm sure I've done this myself. I'm sure I've been in situations & circumstances where I've very well tried to have my cake & eat it too... But we're not talking about what I've done here... :) 

I've been caught up in situations where people have wanted to deal with the essence of my best parts, while discarding the difficult parts of me. At least, avoiding them as best possible. Keeping me at arms reach, close enough to keep me, but far enough where I don't get in the way. 

You see I'm an amazing cake, but my layers become overwhelming too most. I've learned that whoever really wants it's will work through each layer no matter it's complexities. Even the layers they aren't really a fan of. But I've only learned this while shedding layers upon layers on the wrong people... 

you see, we live in a generation of "have your cake and eat it too"... and I almost lost myself in the process....

xoxo 

signs the girl saving the best part of herself

 

What's your speed?

One thing you learn if you date enough, is that the speed in which relationships go, develop, unravel... does very much vary case by case. No two situations is ever the same. Be it circumstances, emotions, or purely just life, how things go is truly unique. No one way is the "right" way... and I'm only really learning this now. After many trips & falls, it's finally hitting me that we just never know how something will work out, solely based on it's beginnings or even it's middle. That what seems perfect isn't always the case. That some people prefer to do things faster because that's what works at the moment, while others take it very very slowly because that seems to work too.

We are driven by emotions but lead by logic. 

or at least we should be...

We move forward with things based on many factors, some lean towards emotion more than they do logic & vice versa. The reality of it is as long as something is progressing organically and not being dragged or pulled... all is well.

Or at least it should be.

Except that we live in a society where it's a lot easier to judge a situation from the outside than it is to reflect on our own decisions. I'm extremely guilty of this sometimes. My initial reaction is to judge a situation based on my own experiences, knowing that my perspective is altered by bias opinions, and also knowing I have no idea the ins & outs of anyone else situation, making my opinion quite invalid with no true substances except a few generalizations I've learned along the way.

Seeing people fall in love instantly always seemed questionable to me, but watching someone not progress in a 10 year relationship, well that too seems doubtful...so which one is it? Where is this happy medium everyone is seeking...  what is in fact that "Right" approach...

Then I realized, the right approach is the one that feels right... the one you continue to work towards, because it works for you. That Billy & Sally being engaged after a year of being together, doesn't mean Bob & Lindsay aren't doing well in their 5 year still novios relationship. It just means things are different... and they will be different, each & every time...

But different means nothing if they all feel right.

& if you don't know what "right" feels like, then this might not be it for you... look for right, which ever speed it might be....

xoxo
signs the girl looking for her speed...

How do you feel about...?

I have mixed feelings about everything... I'm not sure what I know or what I believe in anymore. Life has shown me so many angles in certain things that it's almost impossible to have one solid view on anything. It's like I'm consistently inconsistent with a lot of my opinions.

Before anyone jumps down my throat, or side eyes me... please think of the last time you stated an opinion about something, and weeks, months or years later found yourself having to eat your words... or trying extra hard to show how things are different... if you are an adult in the year 2016 and said never...than you my friend are a liar... but that's neither here nor there.

Point is... I could no longer back up my opinions, solely because life happens and opinions are not solid facts so they are allowed to change and often do with the passing of time. Circumstances change and we're ever evolving so we are often having to re-evaluate how we feel or see things. If you don't,. than you are somewhat stubborn and unable to adjust with the times and honestly likely not growing much.

Life happens to everyone and with it circumstances out of our control, which forces us to do and say things we never thought we would. That's not necessarily a bad thing, at least I don't think it is. We usually form opinions based on what we know. So learning things from a different perspective obviously should change how you view something overall. At least that's how it's suppose to work.

Opinions are not fact... how you feel about a situation will change one day, not because you're a hypocrite but because that's what life is about. I'm convinced the main purpose of life is to constantly show us that we know nothing.

So next time someone ask me how do I feel about something... I'll start with "depends when you ask me, but today I feel..."

xoxo
signs the girl that keeps learning from her own decisions.