Well, Hey there... It's been a while.
Trust me, I've had plenty to say, but not quite enough time to jot it all down.
Where do I even begin...
I'm quite convinced my life is an ongoing episode of "Insecure" & "Sex & the City". Didn't realize 30 would come with so many moments of "did that really just happen".
In some aspects my life deserves two thumbs up, my career is on a straight arrow path to success & stability, which was expected at 30 & I finally fulfilled my life long dream to live absolutely alone in New York. ::yay for me::
In other aspects... It's an absolute shit show, I work too much, I lost my work/life balance, I've gained some weight, I have forever growing commitment issues & my dating life deserves a television gig. From dating apps to work flings, to "hey, you're kinda cute, let's spend some time together". You'd think my silence was due to a growing healthy relationship with someone. Truth is, that relationship has been with myself, and like 3-4 other guys. I ended 2016 basically wanting to vanish the entire male species, only to enter 2017 apparently trying to date the entire NEW YORK population. I wonder if that has anything to do with being 31 or simply the bitter taste 2016 left in my mouth...
Life is still a rollercoaster of emotions, & I've accepted that this is a reality. At some point in my life I thought things like this would stop, they would end & somehow adulthood would open up a clear path... boy, was I wrong. If anything, things are more confusing now, dips are steeper, twist are longer & free falling feels like forever. It's almost like the more we learn, the less we know. Life lessons simply teach us what we should have known when it happened, but doesn't necessarily prepare us for what to do when it happens again. Because somehow we find ourselves in the same twisted situations, knowing exactly what happened but paralyzed to remembering what we should be doing. and we find ourselves doing it again...
over & over again...
And that's my story... There is where I find myself right now. Exactly where you left me, but some how better off... a bit numb in the heart, but full in the soul...every day learning....
I've been adulting... the best way I know how....
xoxo
signs the girl that never fully learns...
