Tolerance

Tolerance in relationships has been a hot topic of conversation lately & on my mind for quite some time. 

Tolerance-  Noun- The ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with

Next to compromise, tolerance is probably one of  the top 5 things that keeps a relationship going (in my humble single opinion). Tolerance to me is the ability to swallow your pride, put your natural beliefs aside and tolerate certain things for the sake of making something work. Obviously we all have a variance in tolerance levels. Some people tolerate pretty extreme ends of the spectrum, while others can't tolerate the most minimal inconvenience. 

I'd like to believe I fall somewhere in the middle, but that's likely not true. I'm not sure I put up with much or am ever really fully willing to put my own opinions aside in order for something to just work... which probably explains why nothing has. Yet I'm fully aware that this is the one requirement needed in order to create that life society so often shoves down our throat. It's one of the most difficult parts of most partnerships, it's deciding it's worth to make this work so you have to turn your cheek. It's an understanding that as humans we will make mistakes, we will disagree, we will do things we said we wouldn't and being okay with it, time & time again.  Tolerance is the ability to swallow your pride and deciding that this is what you want for yourself so you will make due with what you have. 

We obviously always automatically think of worst case scenarios, physically, mentally or spiritually abusive situations. But I think we have to step away from those extremes. Those aren't every day situations and are circumstances in only some relationships.  

I'm thinking more the everyday mundane situations... someones work ethic, how they interact with family & friends, Their cleaning habits, Their eating habits, how they communicate, how they show love, bad habits, addictions, etc etc it's an endless list of things people can develop a strong distaste for, but we have to decide throughout if we care to look past those seemingly minimal or big things. If being with this person or someone matters more to you than all these things. Essentially if you want to make this work despite these things... 

It's tolerance... 

Some of us have a lot of it, and others don't... I guess you have to decide what you're willing to put up with & for who. Maybe once you find the person you really want to be with, you adjust your tolerance levels and make things work no matter the circumstance...

or maybe some of us never learn and just can't make it work...

Guess we'll see & find out..

xoxo

signs the girl deciding her tolerance level.... 

Endings...

It's been nearly 9 years since my last first day of school.. yet, the reminiscence of beginnings lingers in the air this time of year...

Almost as if we wash the sand from our summer adventures and start a new season a bit changed... not only by our complexion from the sun rays... but we become reflective on everything that has already happened in the year & preparing for the remainder of the no longer new year...

It's like the steady beginning to another end. Fall isn't my season by any means, but I do enjoy every change of season and what it brings to my energy. Even if it means something is ending...
We, yes all of us collectively, tend to become weary with endings. Holding on a bit longer to what we know, often longer than we should. We do so, mostly because everything changes once you let go & the unknown is exactly that, something we know nothing about and we aren't sure what to expect from it. But endings simply indicates the beginning of something new. Even if new simply means life without someone or something.

A few things have changed already, some unexpected endings...some lingering beginnings & things that have potential... All indicating change, the only certain thing we have in life... The certainty that all things are uncertain. I think after a while we get so use to everything changing that we learn to have to adjust rather quickly. To adjust to the changes life is constantly throwing our way. So much so that when things become stagnant and unchanging we get an itch within ourselves to shake things up a bit...

at least I do.

No, I'm not a lover of turbulence, but anything that makes me feel alive is welcomed. Anything that makes me feel a change from the mundane...I'm here for it.

You can all stay with your mediocrity while I continue to chase commotion. not enough to ruin things, but enough to make me feel alive. I do not chase drama but I chase emotion.. Whatever reminds me of all my senses...

See, endings simply means beginnings are near, as long as you continue to chase them... Not to say to chase endings, but to understand that with each conclusion comes another plot twist, until it's over...

so embrace them, these endings that come & change everything... until a new beginning comes around and we become hopeful...

xoxo
signs the girl that loves beginnings

Lessons in Colombia...

Since as far back as I could remember New York summers always left me with the best stories to tell. Endless lessons that I will carry with me forever, and adventures that one could never replicate.

Must be something in the air...

This summer added a bit of a bonus, it already had many interesting short stories... But this trip pretty much summed up a series of lessons that I have learned in summer 2016... Some I probably should have known/learned before, but it only all came together in these moments...

When you're alone you're forced to observe more than usual & you're forced to listen to your deepest thoughts. Especially when you're displaced from your norm... I don't mean being alone in your room, but alone in a place where you must adjust your reality.. 

so this is what adjusting my reality taught me...showed me...forced me to see.. 

• Romance could be found in the strangest places, not just an intimate partner
• Be cautious but not fearful...
• "Don't talk to strangers" should only apply to children
• Everyone should take a trip alone at least once in their lives
• The unknown isn't as scary as it seems, In fact it's often better than the things you already know
• You're capable of more than you ever thought you were
• Trust people, no matter how many times you've  been let down... If you go around closing yourself off, you'll truly end up alone and with no one to turn to.
• Having people that love & worry for you does indeed make you feel like you can conquer the world, surround yourself with those people.

• Never stop dating your husband, his unhappiness shows a mile away, pay attention to him. You don't realize how unhappy married men with young children look, until observing everyone is all you have left to do. & I sure saw this, one too many times
• In turn... Colombian men have no shame in staring at other women while with their wives. Be careful with those...  
• We won't always know where our tears are coming from, but let them flow. 
• Being able to spend time with your own thoughts is the best cleanse you'll ever experience 
• Take yourself on dates more often 
• Always wear the pretty outfit, for any occasion, nothing wrong with being picture ready. 
• You're never over dressed... ever
• Travel/Vacation as often as possible, getting away from the routine of life, makes you appreciate life a lot more. 

• Being single isn't a bad thing once you've learn to appreciate your own company...
• Learn to appreciate your own company, be alone for a little bit it makes you see things differently.
• & by alone, I mean really alone...
• Love is shown in so many different ways... worry/concern over your well being is one of them.
• Take risk... Like riding on a motorcycle, walking an unknown path, smiling at a stranger... 
• Home will always be home, but learn to get comfortable anywhere... live like a gypsy. 
• Learn to put your phone down sometimes... 
• No one is a better friend to you than you... your gut never lies.
• It's usually the one that you least expect that takes your breath away...

I'm sure I'm missing a lot of other minor things... but these pretty much sum up what summer 2016 has meant for me (still a few weeks left)...along with what my trip taught me... I entered 30 feeling like a new person filled with quite the story to tell and one yet to be written... 

xoxo

signs the girl that will carry these lessons forever..

Eat, Pray, Love... or Something like that... Part 1

We often discover that the unplanned moments in our lives are usually the most memorable. That no matter how much we try to align things, things turn out as they should and not as you planned.

19 days ago I turned 30... and 2 days ago I returned from the most amazing trip I've ever taken in my life, thus far.

For a little over 8 years, I've been wanting to take a trip down to Colombia. 8 years of traveling to numerous other places... 8 years of knowing this is where I wanted to go, but somehow the universe not allowing it to happen. Until this year, when I went as far as putting it on my vision board & telling myself this is the year I would make this happen, no matter what.

& this is the year that it did.

When I originally planned or set out for this trip, I had no intention of going alone. I'm not a world traveler, I'm not a fearless adventurer. I do not seek thrills in discovering new things outside of my concrete jungle. I tend to be the traveler that lounges, drinks & eats...

Then this happened...

I ended up alone in Colombia (I'll spare the details on how)... I only knew I would be alone hours before I was set to board my plane. & for reasons unknown to me, I was completely calm... not nervous, not upset...just...calm. As if I knew this would be the outcome... and also because I had meditated enough to know that I would let nothing or no one ruin this experience for me...

they aren't lying when they say that when somethings "right" & meant to happen, the universe conspires and makes everything work out perfectly. That things just seem to fall into place, without much effort on your part.

I learned many things on this trip (stay tuned for part 2), but one of the initial lessons was that some moments are best experienced alone, that unlike what society usually makes you feel, you don't need someone else to witness it for it to be great.

In order to fully take anything in, you have to be still & be observant... and often that is only possible when you're completely alone... & this is exactly what happened... I felt every emotion you can think of while on this trip, from fear, joy, sadness, excitement... from silent moments in tears & thoughts, to the happiest of moments surrounded by strangers.

You see, I took this trip without anyone I knew... But never ever did I feel alone...

To be continued...

xoxo
signs the girl that took a leap of faith & landed a new person.

Raw

I think one of my favorite things about meeting new people, is how much we learn about ourselves in the process. That is, of course if you're self reflective enough.

I enjoy self discovery. If nothing else is certain... It's sure as heck sure that you're stuck with yourself until in the very end... So why not know yourself... So I do a ton of self evaluation in my day to day. Not always productively. But enough that I'm continuously learning & using it when need be.

So, one of my recent interesting discoveries is a potential positive or negative thing about my personality. Depends on who you're asking or the interaction...

& that is... I'm too much of myself, always. I don't water myself down, and all parts of me can become overwhelming to some. I share 100% of my energy, I don't give myself in doses. I wear my heart on my sleeve & I'm raw. I give it all and if you can't handle my wholeness, then you can't.

I don't switch things up... I'm consistent in my ways, even if my ways aren't entirely perfect. You get this me from beginning to end. In all settings, and with all interactions, I choose to put my true face forward and hope for the best from there.

I wasn't always this way. I, like most people in society, would give small doses of myself until it seemed people were ready for all of me. Or some still never show their full selves unless around the right people.

some days... I wish I could retract and go back to that. Go  back to days where I had some reservations, at least initially. Back to the times where I was so concerned of my surroundings that I was conservative with what I let out.

& other days... I wouldn't change a thing... I'm a free spirit, a person that doesn't let pride determine the relationships I keep. I don't care to share my thoughts no matter who's on the listening end. I don't care of the opinions of others, even if this effects my relationships in the long run. My thought process is, if you don't like me in my full natural form... then you just don't like me at all.

So I have recently discovered that my heart & soul are exposed. That I'm not guarded, that I put it all out on the table and leave it up to you if you eat...

people like me get hurt often & easily...

but people like me are unchanged by the reality that most people aren't like this... that not everyone is giving you their full selves & that we are often unaware... unknowing... of what people are capable of... until it's too late.

xoxo
signs the girl that's raw in her form. 

Eliz 3.0

a few hours shy of entering the once scary place called your 30's... I think it hit me when I was 26 or so, that this crazy number was creeping closely. That number that signifies you are truly no longer a young adult. That number that means your ovaries are definitely looking up at you now... that number that at one point in time seemed OLD... REALLY OLD...

& here we are...

a few hours shy of it, & it's not scary anymore. My manicure wasn't what I wanted, my shirt came in the wrong size, my hair stylist quit the salon... and I'm not hyperventilating, because let's face it, at this age so much other significant changes are constantly happening, that the once detrimental things, seem...so, so dumb.

It doesn't matter as much, as it once did. I guess this is 30, the realization that things have been going "wrong" the right way for years now. That there is in fact perfection in timing. That the cliche saying, everything happens for a reason, is more than just a saying, but a way of life. The acceptance that certain things will happen if you're ready for them or not.

Turning 30 being one of them.

I should be counting my blessings, & I have this week in particular. I'm surrounded by so much love my heart could burst. So many people love me for the crazy individual that I am, Some for years now, and others are just learning the essence of me.

I promised myself that no matter what happens in the next 21 days, I will not let it effect my energy. That no matter the curve balls life throws my way, I will handle them the way I've been learning how to, for the last 29 years...

I'm entering 30 taking a trip I've been dreaming about... putting closure to a long extended farewell. To heal my heart and enter this new chapter ready to face the next 30+. Having my own version of "Eat, Pray, Love" hoping to come back taking on life in a different light. That I come back with a healed heart & soul from the journey that was my young adulthood.

I'm blessed, beyond measure, not by material things but by the warmth of every soul I've ever encountered. Knowing that at my "young" age, I've touched so many lives with my energy and words. That if nothing else, I've made my energy contagious enough that people engulf in it. That the path I've walked has led me here and I can't complain, because here is where I should be.

so, I guess this is 30...

I'll see & find out.

xoxo
signs the girl embracing her womanhood.