What are you good at?

If you were asked, right now... 

tell me 3 things you are really good at. 

Would you know what to say? 

...Let's backtrack a little before I get into this... 

I recently purchased an amazing agenda/planner. One that I decided to fill with inspirational quotes and goals instead of daily plans. I write things as minor as "Smile today" to as more in depth as "write where you see your career a year from today". All in all, it's a daily scrapbook/vision board/journal/reminder book/bible that I made my own...

Today happens to read "List 3 things that you are good at"... When I wrote it, I did not worry... but as the day approached I grew some anxiety. As if this was a test of sorts. As if writing these 3 simple things would determine my future. As if I was just meeting myself and had no idea what I'm good at...

:Welp:

OR maybe because I still have no idea how to put into words all the things I'm REALLY good at. Maybe because I question all my skill-sets, possibly because I doubt all my abilities and don't necessarily consider them note worthy. Probably because my arrogance levels were lowered and it took some of my confidence with it. Or maybe simply because I'm alright at a lot of things, but never really certain if "really good"...enough.

Don't get me wrong, from reading this you might get the wrong impression of me. Might sound like I truly lack confidence and put myself down a lot. I don't, in fact I work hard to humble myself and pop this constant bubble I live in, which I feel the world & every ones life in it, revolves around me... I think quite highly of myself and what I offer the universe...

except I can't happen to name all the reasons why... or at least I haven't come around to really think about it... I haven't forced myself to list the top 3 selling Eliz Points. (and not list my usual answers, I'm good at dancing, drinking beer and eating chicken lol lol, but I must say... I'm good) But to really indepth list ALL the things I'm really good at and select the TOP 3...

but I will...

try it with me today...

xoxo
signs the girl looking for her top 3.

Taking Responsibility

As some of you may, or may not know, I send out morning messages to a group of my friends/acquaintances/colleagues. I coined theses "Palabritas Del Dia". 95% of the time these messages are things I tell myself in the morning, Things I feel I need to repeatedly tell myself in order to take on the day. Things I feel everyone needs to hear/read in order to really self reflect on themselves and their current situations. Given, I don't always know exactly what everyone is going through, but the messages are so general that at any given day, someone, anyone could relate.

Tuesday 10/27 Morning Message:

Buenos Dias Neci@s... We tend to blame the wrong people when shit hits the fan. We like to point the finger every which way. Forgetting that our actions, decisions and approach has a lot to do with the results. That we are responsible of the shit that happens in our lives. Yes, Some things happen out of our control... but most of the time it's all a direct reflection of some decision we previously made. You are responsible for your good & bad. Accept your part in it. xoXo ElizTalks

----
Cue ElizRant:

The reason for today's message... I feel a lot of people (myself included) tend to see everyone elses wrong doing. They see a situation play out differently than they would have liked OR something gets a little out of hand, and the natural reaction is to point fingers. The initial reaction is always to see what everyone else did to get us where we are, not for once thinking, well I did A, B, & C... and here we are.
Luckily a lot of people eventually then begin to self reflect. eventually people come down from their high horse and begin to take responsibility for their actions, (& other times people need to get kicked off of it). 

I make hella bad decisions. I tend to make those first, alllll the time. But one thing that I do right, is take responsibility for my stupidity. I acknowledge the things I do wrong and either continue to do them (fully aware that I'm doing some bullshit) or I simply stop. Sadly, the same can't be said about everyone else. Sadly some people remain blinded by their own actions and choose to highlight, footnote, define & point out what everyone else is doing.

Like...seriously...for real...for ONE SECOND... think about the role you're playing in a situation and think of ALL the ways you can change it. THEN...do exactly that...and see how strangely, miraculously...shit changes...

xoxo
signs the girl kicking people off their horse...

You do better...

One thing that get's better with time is the ability to "Know better"...then, more so down the line starts the actual "doing better"...

I admit at some point in time I didn't know better, so I definitely did as I pleased having no regard for the consequences.

Eventually I grew up.... 

and became worst 

(yeah, only shit I would do, right?), 

I knew better but refused to do better and continued to do things as I pleased. Being fully aware of the consequences down the line, but paying them no mind, because, "I do what I want"... 

But eventually, (like about last week) I learned that my actions need to be a bit predetermined. That I must take a seat before I jump. That I have to analyze things thoroughly, because no one likes cycles. No one likes irrational decisions, or sudden outburst. I'm known to make a rash decision or 2. I'm impulsive by nature so I often do things solely by how I feel at the moment. Mostly because my emotions are so extreme that it consumes me fully until I do something about it. Until I do it, then I'm over it. Once it's out in the universe, it's out of my system & then I reflect. Possibly a bit too late, but I reflect nonetheless. Only to go back on my decisions or to solidify my reasoning and being okay with it. It's a toss up. Never really know with me...

But I'm learning the power of  "doing better". The ability to see my own faults, to see that I'm headed down the wrong path. The ability to not silence my instincts, to pay attention to what the universe is telling me....and essentially following through with what I know and have learned along this road...

To understand that decisions always have consequences  & that "baby Jesus, don't like ugly"... and karma doesn't either...

So I'm making decisions, being 100% honest with myself... staying aware and alert on what's what.

xoxo
Signs the girl finally knowing better & doing better...

Equally Obssesed

Does it exist? The ability for 2 people to be mutually & equally obsessed with each other.
I know mutually appreciating each other & loving each other truly exist.
But what about that head over heals type of love? That I'll do anything to see you happy type of love? That I want to see you every second like we're 15 type of love?
Is that love only seen in fairy tales & movies?
Or is that love always simply mostly one sided?

(CLEARY, It's obvious that type of love also fades with time & eventually you develop different levels of love & even have to relearn how to love someone. It will never stay on that level forever, BUT...close enough should, right?)

Some of you may be sitting here saying "yes, it does exist" because you feel that... BUT does your partner feel the same? You can only hope for it, you can only truly wish that you're both giving 100%.

Is it cynical to think that this doesn't exist... yeah, probably. But after observing enough people & experiencing enough things, you start to draw life conclusions. & this is one of mine. I've concluded that relationships are made up of so much more than simple emotions, that in life you have to choose if you want to be obsessed or be obsessed over. That you have to make a selection based on so much more than that passive feeling.

This post is in form of questions, because the truth is, I'm not sure what to believe anymore. I'm not sure what is genuine anymore. People tend to flaunt and show one thing, while feeling something completely different. The front of utter obsession is only represented & not always felt. Giving false impressions to the world of something that isn't real. Setting expectations in a society that is already having a difficult time accepting new age relationships. Doing things for an image and not for actual feelings felt...

So my real question is... who's obsessed with who?

xoxo
signs the girl not about that life

Conversation...

I love to talk...a lot, a whole freaking lot...
(If you didn't figure it out from my future brand name "ElizTalks")...

I also listen well... I capture things from just about every interaction I have with a person.

I'm all about conversation, about exchanging thoughts with another individual. It's the ONLY way you can ever really get to know someone. Not only from sharing past experiences, but from seeing their view points on a array of topics. You learn how someone ticks, you learn so much if you pay close attention. You could capture the essences of an individual even while simply discussing chicken, from something more serious like World Peace. Every conversation will let you decipher how a person functions on different levels.

Some people are obviously better conversationalist, and some people just vibe well with you so conversation flows regardless of their habits.

I truly, genuinely, cherish the people I surround myself with. They all fulfill different parts of my need to express my thoughts & opinions. Some people lend a nonjudgmental, keen listening ear that can not be replaced. People who are good at offering their opinions & know when to simply hear you out (even when you are retelling a story)...

While others...well some people can't hold a decent conversation for the life of them. People that aren't mature enough to exchange contradictory ideas are also not on my favorite list. Or people that continuously wish to discuss the same topics. Don't get me wrong, I have a few topics I can revisit over & over again, But if all you offer me is the same interaction, then I become bored... quickly... Then it makes me question our relationship. Makes me wonder what it is that we offer each other.

Conversations define my relationships, they make or break how I view you...

It defines how long I'll keep you in my life.

Xoxo
Signs the girl always making conversation...

Next Steps...

Life seems to have a timeline... well society has given life a timeline, one some of us diligently follow.
Let's just say my timeline hasn't exactly been kosher. I tend to do things on my time & when I feel like it. When it feels right, I do it. When it doesn't, I stop.
Seems alright, right?... welllll, let's just say it doesn't always work. Doing what I want, when I want, with no real plan, doesn't always pan out the way I would have wanted. (Crazy right! lol)

Reality is, all things in life has levels, stepping stones, next steps, stages... As it should (in my opinion at least). If you find yourself in something stagnant, that has remained unchanged in years, that should be worrisome to some extent, ESPECIALLY at a young age. Also, when you find yourself never leaving level 1 of everything or anything, that too is worrisome.

Not to say you should follow the levels, stepping stones, next steps, & stages others have set... BUT you should set some for yourself. You should always start something with a vision of where you want it to go from there. I think we've all become a bit complacent with going with the flow and/or being comfortable with uncomfortable, that we stopped setting stable every day goals.

By, WE... I mean me.

I'm never complacent, and never quite comfortable with uncomfortable. BUT, all I've been doing is going with the flow, to the point I'm not sure where the current has taken me.

I finally took a hold of the paddle... you would think it be to direct the boat where I want it to go... but, no. It's simply to hold the paddle and stand still until I decide what these next steps should be. I've learned that you truly do need to decide what's next in all situations... no matter how scary that next step may be, it has to be taken eventually. Even if that means changing everything you've ever known.

It's time for new stages in my life...

xoxo
Signs the girl prepping for these next steps...

Trust

One of the best things about meeting new people is how much you learn about yourself in the process. Not to say that this is the only way to self reflect, but it's a guaranteed way to analyze yourself in comparison to how someone else is.

It's by noting difference between myself and others that I realize things that I might not have been fully aware of, or never truly acknowledged.
Be it good or bad, I get to analyze someones surface, then look within myself and see how I relate and how I don't.

One of my latest discoveries is "trust". Obviously the older we get, we all develop some levels of trust issues. Some more than others. I recently discovered that while some people build trust (start from the very bottom & build up), I trust to my fullest extent , then take it from there. Not to say I blindly trust people, I've obviously experienced enough in my life not to, BUT everyone gets the benefit of the doubt. Everyone gets the trust & it's up to them where my levels end up. (I think the reason for this is because I only started being "let down", later on in life.)

While others seem to not trust at all, until they feel you've proven yourself enough to let you in. 

I'd lie and say "once you lose my trust, it's gone forever", But I'm not fully that way either. Everything changes, YES, but I think I've made so many mistakes in my lifetime that I know what it is to need forgiveness, and that's where the "build up" starts for me. That's where I start from the bottom and build up. That's where I truly begin to understand other people. It's just a bit uncomfortable, I'd say. To have to prove yourself as if you've done something wrong (from the very start), but haven't at all. It feels like righting a wrong you didn't commit.

I don't think there's a right or wrong way to go about it. You go about your life the way you've become accustomed to and the way you think best benefits you.

Trust is a gift given to you, it's up to you to take care of it & how you give it.

xoxo
Signs the girl always giving that gift...

Oblivion

I'd consider myself quite a logical person. I am able to take myself out of my own bubble, analyze and assess most situations. I take in the opinions of others and my own personal logic to determine what's the best next steps.

BUT...

I'm also a stubborn person. 

I'm not oblivious to the obvious... 

I simply pick and choose what I see and take note of. I just acknowledge the things that are convenient to what I want. I'm a flawed human for so many reasons, I am far from a perfect individual... I make mistakes, I do things I know I shouldn't...but often my biggest flaw of all is erasing all logic and fueling my actions based on pure. raw.emotions.

While it has led to a hell of a story to tell one day...
It has also led to a lot of dead end streets.

NO REGRETS...

Simply a lot of essentially pointless situations. It has lead to roller-coasters, followed by bungee jumps, followed by jumping from a plane levels of adrenaline... but when the dust settles, you go from everything to nothing... because that's the thing with going off emotion, it fills you up so much for the moment, but if not used with some logic you're eventually left empty because of all the signs you didn't follow. You were busy following the beat of your "own drum", that you failed to see you were dancing to someone elses rhythm. That once the music stops playing... you have nothing left.... You were running off a high while driving full speed into a wall and for a moment you didn't care because it felt that good...

until you crash...and you're left scarred and a little beat up... you're left wondering why you didn't do all the things you knew you should have. Was the high worth this new low?

Eventually you know better & do better... But for now...recover...

xoxo
-signs the girl using logic.

Palabritas Del Dia:
"Never ever compromise what you deserve, for what you like. Life is filled with people that are willing to do anything for you...Find those people & embrace them. Lowering expectations for the good of someone else never ends well. Sometimes, from time to time, using logic is a lot more beneficial than running with emotions (don't quote me on this)... xoxo ElizTalks"