It's been some time since I've sat to chat. (With myself). I'm an over thinker by nature so essentially I'm always having conversations with myself. But from time to time I like to spill it all in writing & share with the universe.
So what's today's topic... tolerance! (& I'm not talking about my alcoholic tolerance which I might add has plummeted since I turned 30) I'm talking about our tolerance in relationships, be it amicable, professional or romantic.
BIG NEWS...
::whispers:: I've recently stumbled upon a romantic relationship...
Like real deal bae status... & let me tell you... What the heck was I complaining about while single?? Because this shit isn't easy. I'm learning about myself in a different light & level than I ever did single. Not saying it's terrible, because in that case I shouldn't be in a relationship, but it's definitely a learning curve for me. It's NOT quite like hopping back on a bicycle (which I don't know how to ride to begin with). It's different because time changes you, experiences taint you, and how you once did things doesn't always work. There's essentially no right way of doing it. Or easy way. Especially when it's been a long while since you've been on this ride. It's brand new, it's different, it takes work & effort. & big shocker shit doesn't just happen overnight!!
I guess one of the most difficult parts is that it's absolutely nothing like you pictured it would be all those years that you were single & wildly dating. It's not instantly love, it's not instantly home, it's not instantly exactly what you wanted (because I def didn't want him lol lol)
Every situation is obviously different, everyone has a different take, approach, view & tolerance level...
If you've been in any relationship long enough, you know one of the many necessary attributes is some level of tolerance, which goes hand in hand with compromise. It's the ability to set feelings aside, & decide what you're willing to put up with & work around. I state feelings aside because if you involve your heart too much, you might be tolerating a bit TOO MUCH. It's working with someone & who they are and build a partnership to become a unit. Something that doesn't happen overnight or automatically, not for everyone at least... definitely not for me.
My work in progress unit is not perfect, and hashtag relationship goals worthy. It gets uncomfortable, it gets questionable, it's tested me already, But it's also my comfortable, my place of not questioning, and its the answer to all the test I've failed in the past.
My experiences & views are mine alone. I'm use to things beginning with an ultimate HIGH (making it a steep face first crash down usually). This particular relationship was different for me because it didn't start with that high, it's been a gradual uphill rocky journey so far. It's constantly progressing & developing to better & that's what forever sounds like to me... It's two people growing better together... & making it work, every mini step making it worth it.
but I guess we'll wait & see...
xoxo
signs the girl that's working on it... always
