Learning to let go...

If you were wondering...I still haven't mastered the art of letting go. When things aren't meant for me, it's like I hold on tighter. I fight the universe & try to show it that YES, this could work. Assuming I know best what I need, when really I just know best what my heart wants... at the moment.  

Only once did I hold on so tight it lasted a few years, but one too many times I held on for longer than I should have, regardless of the time frame. I always claimed not to be a stubborn person, but my actions have proven otherwise. I've proven to myself that not much can sway me when I truly want something to happen or work.

 Except time itself... Time has taken its toll on me before and eventually I just move on, almost like I wake up & decide I'm over it. But this doesn't happen until I put up one hell of a fight. Until I shove and push situations, self-inflicting so much unnecessary heartache & drama. I don't fully understand why I do it. As a person who is very aware and very open to seeing various sides to a situation, you'd think I'd make better decisions. You'd think once I see something is Black, I wouldn't continue saying but what if those hints of yellow, make it yellow, or yellow eventually...

 But this is me, this is what I do and what I know. I do not know how to immediately walk away because I have to experience things until I know I no longer can. I do not cut things short rarely ever, unless I want absolutely no parts of it. I rock it out until I just can't anymore. I do not know how some manage to be otherwise and I wonder what way is best. Truth is there is no right way of doing things, despite some assuming their way is the right way. I guess we all live how we see fit.

I need to consistently & constantly remind myself that what's meant for me will be mine no matter what. Be it right now, or 10 years from now. The universe makes things happen when they should. Remind myself that timing is everything, that despite it feeling like right place, wrong time...there is no such thing... because this is exactly when this story was meant to be told... That the only time we truly have is right now, so this is what is suppose to be happening, no matter what I do...

But it seems that no matter how aware I am of these things, part of me still wants to try a little more, push a little more...just in case... just in case it needs some work on my end... just to be reminded time & time again... if it's not meant for you, it won't be...no matter what you do...

 xoxo
signs the girl that tries too hard sometimes..